I enjoy long breaks very much.. Like the last time we travelled for 2.5 weeks when Des was on exchange in 2009. And this honeymoon did us really good too.. Taking in the sights, sounds and fun at a manageable leisurely pace. But coming back to reality is a pain.

Like to realise that Singapore seems to be losing its soul. Apparently, our people rank really high amongst the most emotionless and unhappy people in the world. What an irony. To be unhappy and emotionless at the same time. And post-holiday blues always provoke thoughts about moving and living overseas. I wished I had done it earlier now, on hindsight. But I was honestly a coward, having no courage to move away from the family for a prolonged period of time. In my mind, I'm open to options from both spectrum too... Europe, US or China / Hong Kong. I talked about it but I never really did anything about it. I heard that it's actually very easy to go to China because of our billingualism edge. I was blinded by previous employers and finally found out that the Singapore companies make it hard for people to transfer because they are the ones who don't want to lose good talent.

And so I recall. That there was once a Director whom i worked with, who actually lied so blatantly. That I would need to take a demotion and a paycut to go work in China when i asked for a transfer. Glad I stayed clear-headed and left the company. Heartened that I loved myself enough and have enough faith in my capabilities to not have taken up the stupid route. Although in that case, I didn't get along brilliantly with this Director and I'm pretty sure she wasn't trying to keep me in the team. So I'm pretty sure she just wanted to close off all options for me in the company. Be it in Singapore or China.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I have no major complaints about Life right now. Not short-term ones at least. Long-term woes definitely keep me on my toes but i'm still contented. So detractors are not always evil. They do value-add in your life once you are able to turn the negative comments around. It was such a huge lesson learnt too. about humanity. That there are indeed people who are out to make life difficult for others. I have met many wonderful mentors since I left my first job, because of this Director. And she in turn failed to even deliver on some of her professional promises. I heard she's left Singapore for good... and I think it's good riddance.

Such episodes I will never forget. But it's really not out of pettiness, rather thanksgiving. That it made me stronger. So 2012 comes to an end... Major milestone? Marriage of course. Which turns the ball game around. Because the husband is bonded to Singapore for a couple of years more. And his job is unlikely to bring him anywhere beyond Singapore, where I can follow suit, even if it's just for a year or so. I wish there will be an opportunity for either of us soon. I would pack my bags and go. I haven't taken the risky step forward at any point of my life. But with D in hand, I think we can conquer more places together. I don't want to just travel. I do want to LIVE somewhere else for a while. And that would suffice. Really. It's just getting a little stifling.

Never know what the future might bring. Maybe all I need is time and lots and lots of positivity. And maybe, just maybe, all i want is to be close to Home and nowhere else. These overseas escapades are in my mind. It's good to daydream sometimes and just be able to travel to different places and eventually come home to family and friends each time. Like what my job bestows upon me now. It's not too bad really. :)

Unbearable costs

At the moment, everything in Singapore hovers around the level of unbearable expensive. After 2.5 weeks in California, I come back and realise just how our costs and quality of living have risen to be painful. I don't need a perfect Singapore but I need to be in a country that doesn't make me depressed thinking about my future . That I'm working hard enough to an end that will give me enough savings and assets not just for myself,my spouse but also my children.

The meals in California were the same price, only in usd and 1.5 times our portion often, it's good enough for two people to share a main ad appetizer and be full . parking was free half the time and the country on a whole was just gracious, in service and on the roads. I feel Singaporeans have forgotten how to slow down and smell the roses. Everything is about dollars and cents. I can't afford a car or at least I can't bring myself to buy a vehicle that costs one third of my apartment. And I don't think my savings are rising proportionately to the spending (only counting neccessities). Even more worrying to think about kids.

So the government pre aches about starting families early, about controlling the foreign talents, about helping Singaporeans. I'm feeling the impact when I know my husband and I are in a comfortable income bracket individually . I can't bear to think about those who aren't so lucky. And so what are the societal impacts gonna be? More angst, more irrational complaining and people who start to lose more faith in our government.

I love the efficiencies of our country. And I never take them for granted. But we are also small, so small that if the growing population and the costs are gonna push us away. And I'm not even old. I'm supposed to be in the prime of my career, willing to push even harder ahead and build the mentality of nation building. It sounds propaganda but it was indeed a spirit that the earlier generations held that seemed to have gone amiss. Anyhow, the point is.. The future doesn't always look bright. Not what we used to envision in school. I will be comfortable for sure, but for how long?

The richer are getting richer. The middle income class is struggling and the poor are getting poorer. It's one task for our millionaire ministers to meet and greet our people once a week. Another to truly know and experience what we go through. E.g. Take the public transport when their pregnant wives at peak hours of the day.

Where has the respect for time gone?

I don't understand why people can't grasp the concept of time these days. I mean, a party is set at 4pm and yet one can book tickets at 3pm. I just think it's about respecting other people's schedules as well. Unless it's an invite that can't be turned down, or work. Such actions reflect that one finds it a prerogative to be late. Maybe I'm anal and exceptional, but I definitely wouldn't wish this on me if I'm the host. And yes, saying something like this in a group chat becomes a conversation killer and party pooper. But I simply can't comprehend. I think everyone should have respect for other people's time.

Gotta love the Games

Gotta love the Olympics. Once every four years, it brings the world, hearts and non-sport fanatics together. I would sit for hours with my parents watching the best games, mostly diving, swimming, and gymnastics. We would for the longest time, not squabble over channel surfing and actually share common interests. It's also funny t hear my parents critique the athletes when they don't even exercise. Going on like they are the pros. Pretty amazing how the games have overcome so many barriers, including geography, age, culture and interests. Must say the same for myself too. I'm not a sport enthusiast but I definitely feel like I know all about it in the intensive two weeks. It's like having a crash course for the first day then flaunting my know-hows the next. Hilarioous. But would definitely prefer for the games to be in the same timeline though. Wish the games will return to Asia Real soon.

Would be nice to know how many movies I will watch in this lifetime.

Too late

Why is it that... Increasingly, people are not grasping the concept of "Too late". Bosses only start to offer you perks, incentives and beg you to stay after resignation. What happened to prevention better than cure? Why do Bosses choose to stay in the twilight zone when it's more important to value their employees and offer them welfare benefits, or the very least ensure their remuneration is proportionate to their hard work, while they are still with the company? That couples only start working on their relationship after cracks are formed. The cheating one only truly understands the hurt caused and promises to stop the affair when they are at the brink of divorce. And there they go, trying to justify what "type" of cheating it is. At times, saying physical cheating does not equate to emotional cheating. When it's too late. Late in the literal sense. Everyone's time is equally precious so why is it that your lateness is justified? I think 30 mins is my threshold. Beyond that, it reflects your insincerity and selfishness. Possible to reciprocate the unkind act too but it doesn't even make me happy because the lateness doesn't allow me to fulfill other productive tasks instead. This world amazes me. But sometimes it really baffles me too.

Proud to say I've come a long way since the last post. I think. :) Wedding prep is in full swing. The gowns have been chosen, after a grueling 7.5 hours at the studio and a very very sick me. The most crazy period of work is over (For now, or so I think) and we celebrated great success with three VIPs. I'm also working very hard to research on my honeymoon. Tickets have been booked and we've made tentative reservations in the first leg of San Francisco. So it's all very exciting and I like having my life planned out in advance. Last-min scrambles don't work for me and it leaves me absolutely disoriented. I like having these fruitful steps taken and it takes me smoothly through to the rest of the year. I think all is in place. I'm ready. It only gets better from here. With the house to be completed by end next year. Love Life.

I'm zombified. I used to think I had already reached my threshold of being tired from work.. The sacrifices you have to make of your social life to meet pressing deadlines. But I have now discovered a new breaking point. On a separate note, I love hanging out with babies. Esp new borns I love so much because they are my dear friends' most precious cuties. They are so carefree, innocent and earn your full attention so naturally. You forget work, world chaos, family issues and politics for as long as you spend with them.

Back in time

It's been two months now and I'm beginning to appreciate staying in a mature estate, as compared to a new town like Punggol, my previous neighbourhood. Somehow, the people, way of life, facilities and preferences are all different. It reminds me of Hillview, where I grew up.

During the ten years I was in Punggol, I only said hi to members of max. three households. It's got to do with the demographics for sure. The younger couples never experienced kampung life, you can literally see the barriers around them and no words is exchanged unless absolutely necessary. When I was younger, all the neighbours knew the kids and vice versa. We would smile and greet every ten steps along the way. I miss that really but it's evident where I stay now. Some smiles, some hellos, some goodbyes. The minimarts are run by families, who recognise their customers and know where they stay, what they need. That familiarity is priceless.

The amenities are just amazing. It must be the fact that the neighbourhood is a little overcrowded. But choices are aplenty. You have nearby heartland malls, cineplexes but you also get countless kopitiams. Some daily necessities can only be bought at discounted prices. I sound like an Aunty but when life requires you to be more careful with your dollars and cents, you start to appreciate these things in life. Saving 60 cents on shampoo isn't a must but you ask yourself why not? Why should I spent more money in a shop when the other one is just around the block?

Even at 11pm or midnight, you just need to slip into your flip flops, in your T shirt and shorts and pop by the nearest convenience store to buy a magazine or ice cream. I have forgotten what it was like to enjoy convenience at your doorstep at a fraction of the price.

The best part, it brings you back to the most treasured memory you have never learnt to let go after all these years. You see your childhood elements all around. The familiar shop layouts, the friendly shopkeepers, childhood tidbits, toys, shoes... All seem much poorer in quality now but brings you the same level of joy. Dejavu contentment too, seeing innocent kids save on their pocket money for these treats, like you used to. Somehow... Kids from the new towns behave older than they are. They know only of malls, air conditioning, restaurants and everything else that spoils them crazy.

Mayor Bloomberg and NYC transformation

A long overdue entry. Some after thoughts from the Mayor Bloomberg session where he was in town to receive the Lee Kuan Yew World City prize. Like me, many of my friends never experienced the decline of NYC. The cosmopolitan city we all know today is exciting and celebrates vibrant diversity. Mayor Bloomberg was sharing how he is passionate about his job, giving up a cushy position in the private sector to take on the mammoth task of being a mayor to a declining city. He had a team with foresight of the vision of the new NYC. They closed off broadway and roads to build more bicycle and walking lanes. It is true, walking is the most basic form of transportation and why shouldn't we make more accessible lanes for our legs that carry us way more miles than cars? And that 80% (or so) of New Yorkers stay within 5 minutes walk away from a park.

Yes it would be nice.. To have designated bicycle lanes. To be able to explore more green modes of transport but of course, you need order. Millions of Chinese commute to work on their bicycles everyday but that doesn't make any Chinese city sustainable like New York. They are still polluted and messy. Don't get me wrong, I love China in more ways than one, including the amazing history and unpredictable attitudes. But for a city to truly work towards a vision, you need good leadership and a good marketing campaign. Mayor Bloomberg said New Yorkers are not the easiest to convince, definitely not with what they have been through. And I believe that.

To me, Singapore is a world city too, with so many aspects I have taken for granted, having lived, studied and worked here all my life. Some weekends are boring but our connectivity brings us places. Pushes us outside of our boundaries to explore new cities yet yearn to come home again. I admire the city landscape along Marina Bay today and am left in awe of the changes that have taken place over the years. Who would have thought, a decade ago, that we would one day have two casinos in the small island state?

Contentment

I wonder if social media is doing more harm to Singapore than good?

Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was heartened that we were enjoying greater freedom of speech with social media. Our voices were communicated through channels that were never made available to us before. In this virtual space, nobody can be sidelined and everyone has a voice.

But today, I start to wonder if Singaporeans are allowing their discontentment to spin out of control? What is enough, or not? I honestly think, hear and feel the government making efforts to push policies forward to address the unhappiness that sent across a very clear message during the elections. But these things take time. Social media doesn't allow time for results to show.

Is it making us greedier? More impatient? And less forgiving?

We seem to forget that the online space also has a saturation of good and bad information. I just hope, we don't forget to always filter out the bad. Some arguments online simply don't make any sense to me.